Anxiety of the Past - Part II

Posted on Tue Mar 17th, 2026 @ 1:57pm by Lieutenant Lanna Alexander & Lieutenant Commander Sabastian Walker

1,409 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Forgotten Wounds
Location: Science Labs | CSO Office | USS Arcadia

ON:

Sabastian sat down by Poe and took his hand. "Hey, No don't get anxious or feel embarrassed. It's alright. I'm glad you're okay. Going to head back to engineering why don't you stay and talk to Counselor Alexander and I'll check on you later. Okay?"

Poe gave a nod.

Sabastian looked at Lanna. "I'll let you take it from here."

Lanna nodded and offered a warm smile.

Sab gave a nod back and squeezed Poe's shoulder before he left.

Lanna watched Sabastian go before turning back to Poe. “Do you feel up to telling me what triggered this? Whatever you say is covered by patient confidentiality so it won’t go any further than this room.”

He sighed. He was never one to shy away from counseling. "It was...unexpected. I used to have these when I was a kid, all through the academy...it stopped for the last few years I started to feel safe...then today." He sighed. "I got a call. I don't get calls, I have nobody to call me."

“Until today obviously” Lanna added. “May I ask who called you, and what it was about?”

"Someone I haven't spoken to since I left my planet. My father. My family should not have known where I am. All they knew was I left the planet and now...they found me."

“That scares you? The thought that your family know where you are?” Lanna gave him a curious look. “May I ask why?”

"I left home when I was 17 Counselor to save my mental health and to get away from my family. I took the Starfleet Exams when I arrived and had to wait a year to start the Academy. I haven't spoken to them nor told them where I am yet here they are knocking at my door." He sipped the water that Walker had handed him before he left his hands shaking. "I am not afraid of them but hearing from them has caused my anxiety to flair up."

Lanna nodded. “I understand. I take it you didn’t have a good relationship with your parents, which is more common than you’d think. Have you stopped to think that maybe they’ve changed? That being without you all this time has made them realise how much they miss you.”

He shook his head. "That does not happen. I'm in my 30s and I left when I was 17 years old. Counselor when you grow up being told you are mistake, being bullied by your siblings because they see you as different, being bullied by your parents because you do not confirm to what they want. Being ostracized to the point where you leave home with a certainty that you won't be missed and your leaving will be celebrated there is no changing of the mind. The day I left my planet I made peace with never having my family. I pulled myself up. I had to wait a year before I could enter the academy. I was alone, on Earth, for a year most of which I spent homeless and wandering the streets until the kindness of a retired former Starfleet Captain and his wife took pity on me and gave me a room to stay in, and food to eat. I had to learn the customs of Earth, learn to speak the languages without a translator in order to survive, so no. I will not, under any circumstances, be accepting that call."

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” Lanna offered a comforting gaze. “Then I understand your reasoning, if you want to ignore contact then that’s up to you and I don’t blame you.” She smiled. “Please don’t think you have to cope with this, or anything else on your own. You can come to me anytime, my door is always open.”

"How? How did they find me? Why? All these years and they wish contact now?"

“Perhaps you hear what they have to say? There maybe a good reason why they’ve chosen to find and contact you.” Lanna offered in response. “If you don’t want to be alone then perhaps I could sit in with you, either that or I could contact them, with your permission of course.”

He thought a moment. "I have to think about it. To be honest I have nothing to say to them. Do you know when I celebrated my first birthday?"

Lanna shook her head.

"When I was 17. Three weeks after I came to Earth. I found a cake that was disposed of from a restaurant. It was half eaten but it was enough. I watched my siblings each celebrate their birthdays and I knew that when mine came there would be nothing but silence. Just like any other day. Why celebrate your greatest shame right?"

“That’s so cruel” Lanna shook her head. “How could any parent do that? Well you have all of us now, the crew of a Starship are family. We rely on each other every day, so we look out for each other. You won’t be alone anymore.”

"I don't know about that. I have been a part of another crew and I find that the more I listen the more use I am. When I try to speak...well I'm just an inconvenience. A lifetime of this is very difficult to get past. But, you just pick yourself up and move on. That I can do." He sighed. "Perhaps you can help. If you can contact them, coms has the call information, and let them know that I wish to never speak to them again. Perhaps they will not bother me again."

Lanna nodded. “I can do that, and I’ll make your wishes known.” She smiled warmly. “Now I want you to get some rest before you return to duty, at least an hour okay? I know you won’t want to sit around forever so that’s why I’m making it a short period of time.”

He gave a nod. "Okay."

Lanna nodded. “Thank you. I’ll go and let you get some rest.”

As she left the office the familiar figure of Sabastian Walker was leaning against the wall. His face deep shade of red, anger rolling off of him in waves.

Lanna paused. “Sabastian? Tell me what’s going on.”

He motioned for her to follow him into the corridors.

"I came out of the office and only then noted how much one can hear from inside. I sent the rest of science staff away for his privacy. Made a note to insulate the offices here better as soundproofing. I stayed. I heard him. I heard what he went through. Do you need me to talk to his parents?"

“Perhaps we could talk to them together? I did ask Poe for his permission so I don’t want him to feel that I’ve betrayed that permission in any way.” Lanna smiled. “As for soundproofing if the walls are that thin then I’ll request some extra soundproofing for my office as well.”

"I'll make it happen." He sighed. "I'll let him rest then I'll talk to Poe tonight. I can't quite put my finger on it but he had brought out a protective instinct in me. I feel like bubble wrapping him."

Lanna smiled warmly. “Well there’s nothing wrong with that, it seems to be helping you too. Just don’t get too over protective of him, at least not all at once anyway.”

He raised an eyebrow. "I do not understand."

“You know what scuttlebutt is like on a Starship, not that what you do is anyone else’s business.” Lanna added. “I like the way Poe has brought you out of your shell again.”

"Scuttlebutt? What are they pray tell saying?" He ignored the out of shell comment because he didn't want to analyze that. He knew that she was right.

“Nothing that I’ve heard as of yet, I just wanted to preempt” Lanna added with a smile. “If I do hear anything though I’ll let you know.”

He gave a nod. "Please take care of him. He is...a rare person. I do not want to see his light dimmed."

“Don’t worry, I won’t let that happen.” Lanna smiled before heading on her way, she would be keeping a close eye on Poe from now on.

OFF:

 

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