Broken...
Posted on Mon Jan 5th, 2026 @ 1:10am by Lieutenant Commander Sabastian Walker & Lieutenant Fang Lee
Edited on on Mon Jan 5th, 2026 @ 1:11am
1,152 words; about a 6 minute read
Mission:
Shore Leave - Starbase 1
Location: Crew Conference Room
Timeline: Current: 0300 hours
ON:
His thoughts were interrupted by the hiss of the door. He looked up. “Lee, Fang. Why am I not surprised to see you…”
Fang sighed. “Can we talk?”
“If we must.”
Fang pulled out a chair and sat down. “I am so sorry Sabastian.”
Sabastian clutched his fists. “Every single person is sorry. The Vulcans are sorry, the monks who couldn’t look out for themselves were sorry, my family was sorry, Sorry does not bring him back!”
Fang pressed his lips together. “That’s true. I can’t imagine…”
“No you cannot.” Sabastian looked up. “You cannon imagine how much I wish it were you and not him.”
Fang gave a nod. “I know. I wish it were me too. I’m so sorry Sabastian I really am. I know you don’t believe it but I cared for Zai.”
Sabastian sighed. “I know. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me you can go now.”
Fang pressed his lips together again. “Listen I want to help with the memorial.”
Sabastian shrugged. “Fine. He’s going to be met by the doctor and prepared. His sister and the elders will be in from Betazed in two days to conduct some sort of ritual and then I guess they’ll do what they want.”
Fang studied him. “What do you want to see in the memorial.”
Sabastian shrugged. “Zai, alive.”
Fang sighed. "Me too. How long has it been since you slept. You look like shit."
"May I remind you I am still your XO?"
“No need. I know. You still look like shit.”
Sabastian sighed. “Yeah.” He ran a hand down his face. “Feel like it too.”
Fang stood. “Come on, I’m taking you to bed.”
Sabastian raised an eyebrow. “I’m about to airlock you.”
Fang laughed. “Not that way you idiot. Zai would come back to life and kill me if I meant that way. I’ll walk you to your quarters.”
“I’m willing to try whatever to bring him back.”
Fang snorted. “Come on idiot.”
“Again, XO.”
Fang shrugged. “I’m leaving the ship soon with Kelly so not for long.”
He sighed. “Fine. I could use a few hours of shut eye.” He stood a little shaky on his legs and the two headed out.
The trip to Sabastian’s quarters didn’t take long and the two didn’t speak but Sabastian knew that Fang was walking close to make sure he didn’t collapse and he appreciated it. He was feeling more and more exhausted by each step. His brain so fuzzy that he forgot what awaited him in his quarters, the think that he’d avoided and forgotten to deactivate.
The door hissed open and as Sabastian stepped in the little surprise Zai had set up months ago while still alive greeted him.
Zai’s voice, “Hello my dearest love. Just wanted to say welcome back and even if I’m on shift I didn’t want you to come home to an empty quiet room. I wanted you to know how much I love you and how much I look forward to coming home to you and holding you until the morning. I love you.”
Sabastian whimpered and fell to his knees the room spinning. His breathing shallow as the message repeated again.
“S..shut it off.”
Fang pulled the panel off cursing Zai for thinking of something ridiculously sweet but painful as hell. He turned it off and knelt by Sabastian. "Breath."
Sab shook his head. "I...I can't do this. I can't continue to be in a world where he's not."
"Yes you can." He stood pulling Sabastian up. "Come on. Into the bathroom. Shower, no bath I don't trust you not to drown your dumbass self. Leave the door open so I can make sure you don't do something stupid. I'll make soup and a sandwich."
"Just go Lee."
Fang snorted. "Shall I call the Doc to sit with you?"
Sabastian spewed a few curses.
"Yeah, yeah, the hate is mutual. Go." Fang watched as Sabastian walked into the bathroom and then turned to the kitchen to make some soup.
"Sabastian?" Fang swore. "Sabastian!" He called out a few more times. "Damn it I'm coming in!" Fang headed inside only to find Sabastian sitting on the floor of the bathroom in his boxers. His wet hair dripping down onto his shaking shoulders while his tears flowed. "Shit." Fang breath. "You scared the..." Fang reached over grabbing a robe that hung on hook and placed it around Sabastian. "Come one. Up we get." He helped him slip into it and then walked him to the living room.
Leaving him on the sofa he ducked into the bedroom and came out tossing a pair of pants at Sabastian. "Get those on, food's done."
Sabastian stared at the pants as if not knowing what they were.
Fang sighed. "Okay." He grabbed the sweatpants and knelt by Sab. "First one let and then another." He helped Sab into the sweat pants and then led him to the table taking the seat opposite him. "Eat. Miracle cure all is in front of you."
Sabastian seemed to snap out of the daze he was in and looked down at his plate. His eyes filled with tears. Zai's favourite comfort food. Tomato soup and grilled cheese.
Fang smiled a little. "That was the miracle cure for Zai. You hurt your foot, eat Tomato Soup and Grilled cheese. You can't sleep, tomato soup and cheese sandwich. You fall down from a ladder."
"Grilled cheese and tomato soup," Sabastian finished. He actually smiled.
Fang laughed. "Yeah. So tonight we're having grilled cheese and tomato soup."
"It won't bring him back."
Fang sighed. "No but it does keep his memory and personality alive."
Sabastian's eyes misted over. He didn't trust his voice so he just gave a nod.
The rest of the food was consumed in silence and just as he got up from the table it finally happened. His composure and sanity slipped and the tears started to fall.
Fang was up and over to him with lightening speed and he pulled him into a hug holding him. "Let it out. Don't hold it in."
Sabastian lost all ability to hold anything back and sobbed with his entire soul.
Fang blinked back his own tears. He could only imagine what Sabastian was going through. He stood there holding him for a good hour and then when he was all cried out Fang helped him to bed and tucked him in. Once he was sure Sabastian was asleep he headed back to his own quarters to mourn Zai. He needed a night to just process everything.
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