Anxiety of the Past - Part I

Posted on Fri Mar 13th, 2026 @ 3:38pm by Lieutenant Commander Sabastian Walker & Lieutenant JG Aiden Poe & Lieutenant Lanna Alexander

1,612 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Forgotten Wounds
Location: Science Labs | CSO Office | USS Arcadia

ON:

Aiden Poe had missed his Counseling session and his appointment with Sabastian. Sabastian would have none of it. He had gone looking for Poe whom the computer placed in his office on Deck 7. Sabastian stalked angrily towards the office bumping into someone. He looked up. "Counselor Alexander?"

“Commander” Lanna nodded. “Let me guess you’re looking for Lieutenant Poe?”

"Indeed. We had an appointment to discuss his mapping probe modifications but he did not show up." He paused. "You?"

“We had an appointment as well, and likewise he didn’t show” Lanna looked concerned. “It’s not like Poe not to show up, I’m worried about him. The sooner we find out what’s going on the better.”

He gave a nod. They walked through the science lab to the offices and when they arrived Sabastian pressed the chime several times to no response. Sabastian pressed his lips together. He checked again with the terminal saying that Poe was indeed inside the office.

"Counselor...I'm going to have to open the door. Since I'm no longer XO for the moment It needs both our codes to enter."

Lanna nodded. “Understood, let’s get in there.”

He let her go first imputing her Medical override code and he entered his master engineering code. The doors hissed open and what he saw stopped his heart. Poe was pale, shaking, gasping for air and holding onto the desk. He turned as the door hissed and his eyes widened. Their pupils blown. A sudden image floated through his mind. Zai, in that same state. "Anxiety attack." He said rushing in. Just as Poe let go of the desk and floated towards the floor.

Sabastian was there in a heartbeat easing him to the floor. "We'll get you to sickbay."

Poe struggled but managed to get out, "no...no mmm mmmed bay."

Sabastian looked up at Lanna. "He's having an anxiety attack. Zai used to get them. Counselor can you find a cold cloth and a cold glass of water?"

“Of course!” Lanna hurried over to the replicator ordering up a cold cloth and an ice cold water, returning with them a few moments later she handed the cloth to Sabastian and offered the water to Poe. “Here you go Poe, try and sip some of this it’ll help.” She offered a reassuring and caring smile.

Poe shook his head.

Sabastian sighed and took the glass from her placing it on the floor. He gently placed the wet cloth around Poe's neck. "I'm going to ask you questions. If the answer is yes you squeeze my hand. Understand?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

Sabastian looked up at Lanna. "You may want to write this down from a counseling perspective about his anxiety episodes."

Lanna nodded getting up to get herself a PaDD for quick notes that she could add later on. That done she returned to Sab and Poe.

"Poe, do you get them often?"

There was no hand squeezed.

"Only when triggered?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

"Is this the same as your other ones that you've had in the past?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

"When they level out do you vomit?"

There was no hand squeeze.

"Have to run to the um...bathroom."

Nothing.

"Pass out?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

"Good. When you pass out is it longer then a half hour?"

Nothing.

"Less?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

"Do you have a sensory calmer?"

Poe squeezed his hand.

He looked up at Lanna to make sure she was getting this. He knew she would wish to speak to Poe about all this. In the mean time inside himself he was fighting images of Zai just like this. Helpless, afraid. He tried to shake them away.

“A sensory calmer, what kind?” She looked around, calmers tended to be whatever the individual person chose, not all were the same.

Sabastian looked down at Poe. "Is it audio related?"

Nothing on the hand squeeze.

"What about sight?"

Nothing.

"Smell?"

He squeezed Sabastian's hand. Weakly pointing to Sabastian's neck. "Me?"

He gave a hand squeeze again the neck.

"My cologne...citrus."

A hand squeeze.

"Counselor find something with a strong citrus smell...There!" He pointed to a small device. "That is a scent releaser from Vulcan. If you can turn it on the room should be filled within a moment."

Lanna nodded getting up again to switch on the scent releaser. “Got it!” She remained standing just in case she needed to do anything else.

The room filled with a tangy citrus. Walker could sense Poe's fear and a feeling of shame for being seen like this. "It's alright. We have you. Let go." It didn't take long for Poe's breathing to even out and for him to pass out. Sabastian lifted him and laid him out on the sofa pulling a throw over him. He sat on the floor by the sofa looking up at the counselor his hand shaking finally.

"Zai used to have these all the time."

“I guessed that” Lanna offered an understanding gaze. “You did well helping Poe, I have training on giving advice and helping in the event of a panic attack, but I’ve never actually had someone do that in front of me before. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but you should be proud of yourself.”

He shrugged. "I was used seeing this. I guess that was part of the reason he married me. String the fool along. He'll take care of you and love you like you want to be loved and you can pretend you feel the same. Joke's on him." He turned and absently fixed the throw over the Science officer. "Poe's a lot like him but...he's more earnest, more honest, and there is an innocence to him that I saw in Zai. Only difference is it's not an act with Poe."

Lanna nodded. “He certainly brightened up my day when he first came to see me, his excitement was off the chart, and his enthusiasm was as well. I’m surprised to see him down like this, I’d like to know what triggered it.”

He shrugged. "For Zai it was the war on his planet. For Poe...I cannot imagine." He looked over at Lanna. "I know we've had our differences, particularly as of late but you will take care of him right?"

Lanna nodded. “Of course I will, I take care of everyone aboard including you.” She paused for a moment. “Sabastian I know you feel that I wronged you, but I truly did what I thought was best for you. Maybe it was an error, but I didn’t want to see anything happen to you especially after losing Zai. Losing one friend was bad enough, losing two…” she shook her head. “It’s not what I want to happen. As for Poe he’s going to need both of us, and I’m going to need you to walk me through dealing with these panic attacks.”

Sabastian was silent and then he gave a nod. He stood and brought over a chair for Lanna to sit by the sofa and he took his place on the floor like a sentinel guarding a treasure.

"I did a lot of research on these when Zai started having them at the Academy. They are different for everyone. For Zai they were a direct result of all he'd been through. For Poe...well you'll have to find out but they are similar to Zai's. Not the same. Zai would vomit after each one and Poe here passes out. For Poe from the questions I asked he doesn't have them often Zai did. For Poe it seems something Triggered his but given that he has a scent calmer...I'm guessing he uses it to keep them at bay." He turned lightly brushing the hair from Poe's face. "He was gasping...I mean I know that Zai was the same clammy, gasping, pale. He'd tell me that it felt like a heart attack and he always thought he was going to die...I sensed that with Poe...he was fighting the panic. Like he's been through this so many times he just had to overcome again and I felt....shame, like he was embarrassed at being seen like this." He knew that Lanna had felt the same she was empathic after all. "You felt the same?"

Lanna nodded. “He was very ashamed, he didn’t want anyone seeing him like this and in his place I’d feel the same. Panic attacks can cause sufferers to hide away from the world, to isolate themselves because they feel it’s wrong to be seen because it makes them weak.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand what’s changed, he was so excited now this.”

"I don't know." Just as he said that Poe began to stir. His eyes opened and it took a moment for them to focus. Sabastian took the glass of water and eased Poe up. "Drink this." He gently held Poe's head while he drank down almost the full glass. Putting the glass aside he helped Poe sit up more.

Poe's eyes darted from the counselor to the XO. No, no, no, no, no! They saw me like this! Questions would be asked and he'd have to answer. Gods help him he couldn't lie to save his life and they would see the nothing that he was. Just like everyone he would be a disappointment to them and he'd have to leave the ship he'd waited for, the ship of his dreams.



To Be Continued...

 

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