One More Time ....
Posted on Mon Dec 29th, 2025 @ 5:40pm by Lieutenant Commander Sabastian Walker & Lieutenant Lanna Alexander & Lieutenant JG Zai Walker
Edited on on Mon Dec 29th, 2025 @ 6:36pm
1,447 words; about a 7 minute read
Mission:
Shore Leave - Starbase 1
Location: Various - Memory Log
Timeline: Memory Log / Current Timeline
ON:
A fourteen hour day.
Sabastian had just completed a fourteen hour day. He didn’t feel like going home tonight. The quarters he shared with Zai, that had Zai’s prints all over it, made his heart hurt. He headed to his office. He would work there until he passed out from exhaustion, not that sleep came to him anymore.
He sighed as he walked down the hall and into his office. The moment he stepped inside he was back again, back in the memory of their last fight and the cause of it, him talking to the counselor and asking her to help Zai.
Sabastian and Lanna headed out of the ready room. "Counselor, do you have a moment?"
Lanna nodded giving Sabastian a curious look. “Of course, what’s on your mind Commander?”
He motioned down the hall. "Perhaps in my office? It's a... personal matter."
“By all means” Lanna nodded as she walked towards the office. As they reached it she stepped inside waiting for Sab.
Sabastian entered the office and sat down. "I need your help with Zai."
Lanna gave Sab a curious look. “What’s happening? Tell me all about it, and don’t leave out any detail no matter how small.”
He sighed. "So Zai and I moved into the XO quarters...the ones that Fang lived in before. I mean he's moved out and things were cleaned and we moved Zai's stuff in. Things were going great but as of late he's...been restless. He's moved the furniture several times and it's like he's uncomfortable there. I suggested we re-do them, make them our own when this mess with the Gorn is over and he's agreed but...I swear he's more and more uncomfortable every day."
Lanna nodded. “I see. Perhaps it’s the familiarity with the quarters, with them having been Fang’s before. Have you considered moving to different quarters? I know as First Officer you have the right to those quarters, but maybe it’s not what Zai feels comfortable with.” She paused. “Maybe it would be best if I dropped in on Zai and see what he has to say?”
He sighed. "I've asked him but...he doesn't want to move." Sabastian shook his head. "I was going to ask for some leave time before this whole Gorn thing side tracked us. With everything that happened...I figured he could use time away but then duty calls right? Since the hair cutting...he's been distant. As if he's lost himself. I am trying to be there for him but it's like he's been isolating himself."
“His hair, of course!” Lanna nodded. “To Zai it represents more than just hair, losing that has caused him to lose himself. We need to support him and get him through this. I know you’re trying, so just keep doing what you’re doing.”
"In all honesty it's killing me...When he is in pain so am I. I can sense his confusion and depression and I can't see him like this. I worry that it will spiral from here." Sabastian admitted.
Lanna nodded. “You’re worried he’ll do something to harm himself?” She certainly hoped not, but it was best to be aware of the risks.
"For the first time, Counselor, I don't know. His night terrors are worse...He's always stressed." Sabastian rubbed a hand down his face. "I honestly don't know."
Lanna was worried and it showed, she considered Zai a friend. “May I talk to Zai? Let him know how worried you are about him and see if I can do anything to get him past this?”
"At this point I'll do anything. He hasn't smiled since we left base."
“Then let’s see if we can at least get him to smirk!” Lanna grinned. “After all I do have happy news to share don’t I?”
He gave a nod. "He's on a day off today so he should be in our quarters. I've got to meet with Fang about some new Engineering refits he's got going on."
Lanna nodded. “Okay then, I’ll head there now and see if Zai will talk to me.”
Sabastian sighed. "Thanks counselor. I really appreciate this. He may be mad that I initiated this...but I'm really worried."
“I think Zai will understand Sab, at least he’ll come to” Lanna added with a smile.
He smiled and sighed. "Can you let me know after if there is anything I need to do to help?"
“Of course I will” Lanna nodded. “But as with all those I see, what is said will be strictly confidential unless Zai gives his permission for me to talk to you.”
"I just need to know if my husband is alright." He rubbed the bridge of his nose his strain and tiredness showing.
Lanna gave Sab a worried look. “How long has it been since you’ve had some rest? Actually it doesn’t matter, as of now you’re ordered to get some rest. I know you’re First Officer, but as Chief Counsellor I can override your authority if I feel it necessary. Take a few hours off, and get some rest.”
He sighed. "Maybe a nap here at the office. It's....been a while. Since this whole thing with Zai and helping Engineering it's been a bit crazy."
Lanna nodded understandingly. “Okay. You rest and I’ll see what I can do for Zai.”
"Thanks counselor."
Zai stared at his husband. He’d fallen asleep at his desk…more like passed out. Sighing he walked over to the sofa removed the blanket and gently placed it over Sabastian. Leaning down he kissed his husband lightly on the back of his head. “I love you Sabastian, never doubt that. I will always love you.” He whispered in his ear.
He straightened and disappeared appearing back in the quarters they shared. One last time he walked around the room a memory of some happy news coming back to him. He remembered the day Lanna had told him she was pregnant…
=/\=XO's Quarters =/\=
Zai sat on the sofa. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. A day off was rare but he could think of nothing he wanted to do.
Walking up to the door Lanna was still planning her strategy, she didn’t want to jump straight into a load of questions, she knew Zai would be defensive if he knew she and Sab had been talking behind his back. Instead she would deliver her news and go from there. Pressing the chime she waited for an answer.
Zai sighed. "Come on in."
Walking in Lanna offered her friend a smile. “Hello Zai, I thought I’d drop by and see you. I have some news to share.”
Zai sat up. "Oh?" He studied her. "Good News I take it?"
Lanna nodded. “Most definitely! It seems trying for another baby has paid off, I’m pregnant!” Her smile practically shone.
Zai smiled genuinely. "That's wonderful!" He stood and walked over hugging her. "Congratulations."
“Thank you” Lanna smiled as she returned the hug. “I’ve been worrying about having to send Jayce off ship, and now this. From now on I’m tied to the ship, no away missions. As much as I hate it, it’s what is best.”
He had later found out that Sabastian had sent her to cheer him up and for some reason they argued. He smiled and had made up promising to start a family of their own soon. A promise they would never see come to fruition. He sighed.
“Are you quite done?”
He turned. “Yes Shariel. I’m done. It’s time to start a new chapter no matter how much I want to stay here.
Shariel sighed. “He’ll heal. I promise you that.”
“I know. I will miss him and love him until the end of time.”
Shariel snorted. “Poetic.”
Zai turned. “Don’t make me tell the collective what you did on Vulcan.”
“Okay, okay! Lets go.”
Zai watched Shariel disappear in a ball of white light and then he too looked around. “Goodbye my love.” He waved his hand and a small box appeared on the table. He wasn’t supposed to do this but to hell with it. The collective took so much from them. He’d give this to Sabastian.
He sighed again. “Goodbye my love.”
In a flash of white light he disappeared.
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